It was a beautiful weekend.
I had a really nice lesson with my Saturday class this week, and they reminded me of exactly why I love doing what I do. Then we had the Bell Christmas party last night. Karolina, Zenon, and Zuzia brought their adorable children, and it was wonderful to have them running around, playing and laughing. I even got a bit of a cuddle with Karolina's daughter, which was great. It reminded me of how much I'm looking forward to giving Natalie and Hudson big hugs next week. The Polish teachers taught us some nice Polish Christmas carols, too, which we all tried to sing together, with more success than I would have imagined. Then we went out dancing. It was one of those nights you really don't want to end, so you just keep going. It was well worth the headache this morning. Which didn't last, because of Aija's magical pancakes. They're the world's best hangover cure. I need to get the recipe before she goes.
Anyway, today was well below freezing, but Aija and I walked to Turzyn (and stopped to feed the church ducks some leftover pancakes on the way!) and spent the afternoon at the mall and the outdoor market, trying to get some Christmas shopping done. I don't know if I was just really happy today, or if Szczecin was especially beautiful with all the perfect white frost-coated trees and people bundled up and carrying Christmas trees home, but today felt like all the reasons I used to love Christmas so much. And it had nothing to do with buying or getting presents, nothing to do with cookies or extravagant meals. It's just the people everywhere, getting ready to celebrate with the ones they love. Humming Christmas carols and smiling and not thinking about how cold it is or what they have to do at work tomorrow. Maybe I'm Pollyanna-ing a bit here, because it's been such a wonderful few months, and I'm really happy these days, but, if so, who cares? I'm excited to go home for Christmas, and just as excited to come back in the new year and resume my life here, with these people, in this place. What more could I ask?
But in the usual way of things, just when you're able to ask that question and not have an answer, you find one. I came home and talked to my mom, and she told me that my grandfather is in the hospital again. His kidneys are failing and he's going to start dialysis tomorrow. I'm upset. And I'm worried. About him, about Grandma, about Mom. But it makes going home for Christmas seem even more important. I'm not sure if the Christmas celebrations are going to carry on as they usually do, and I won't know how long he's going to be in the hospital until tomorrow, at the earliest. But I'll see my grandfather this Christmas either way. I'll spend time with my family, and I'll be in exactly the right frame of mind to appreciate it. I don't know where I stand on prayer, but I do believe in positive thinking and I believe in community. So if anyone who reads this could keep my grandpa in your thoughts over the next few days, I would be grateful.
Even with the bad news, though - and maybe even a little bit because of it - right now all I keep thinking is what an incredible thing life is. Even an ordinary one. My grandfather spent his working years mostly at a brewery. He saw the ocean for the first time in his life in the late 1990s, after he was already retired. He's stayed pretty close to home for most of his life. He's sick now, and life isn't easy. But he has loved my grandmother for nearly 60 years. He has six children, dozens of grandchildren, and even quite a few great-grandchildren. He created something real. I'm choosing to live my life a bit differently, pretty far from where I started out. But I think I'm doing something equally valid and real, and I hope he's proud of me, like I am of him.
Finally, as a Christmas present to you, the beautiful song that's been in my head all day:
No comments:
Post a Comment